Friday, 19 February 2010

The biggest absinthe market in the world?

I was delighted to receive this email this morning:


I'm a business Student from the University of Nigera (Africa).

If this possible, to receive 4/5 tons of plant Artemisia absinthium to developp distilation for my businesse in Nigeria.

For me it is fine any kind of material, fresh or dry (even better).

I am intersting for recipes too.

For the payment, please specify me the number of your bank account, as well as the codes of access.

It is very important that I could make a transfer of fund from your bank in Switzerland.

Indeed, I have a big sum to be put in the banks of your country.

Be not therefore surprised to accept 1.5 million dollars shortly.

Your committee will come to 10 %, that is 150 '000 dollars which will stay in cash on your count.

Say to me if this sum is sufficient to pay the absinthe and the recipes that to go to you to deliver me.

I thank you for your assistant for the development of Africa, particularly of Nigeria.

I apologize for the inconvenience and I thank you in advance.

Thanks to the collaboration

I was thinking of responding as follows:

It was very helpful to be told that Nigera (sic) is in Africa. And I was pleased to know that even in Nigeria they recognise the quality of grande wormwood from the Val-de-Travers region.

I'm not sure that we will be able to supply recipes, but maybe you could download them from the web. I'll be pleased to let you know where you can find some good recipes.

Just one problem: 4/5 tons of wormwood would probably make Nigeria the biggest absinthe market in the world (and I am worried that there are a lot of Muslims in Nigeria who presumably don't drink absinthe). So, given the size of your order, we will in fact need 50% of your payment upfront. We will need to recruit more farmers to lay out more fields for wormwood production, and we will need to increase the drying capacity too.

Swiss bank accounts, however, are not what they used to be. We cannot hide funds there as easily in the past. So we would like you to pay by PayPal and are forwarding details of our account separately.

Thsnks in advance ...

What else should I say to my friend in Nigeria?


jake said...

"The biggest absinthe market in the world?"

Filed under "mythology".... CLASSIC!

The Mad Dame said...

I think that is the perfect response.

Ken Desloges said...

So they plans to produces 200 000 + liters of absinthe

Absinthe-Shop Jen said...

"Be not therefore surprised to accept 1.5 million dollars shortly."
Wow- that's excellent. I should see if they need a few cases of absinthe as quality examples. And some glasses too.

Though they get a point for writing an interesting new script, be not therefore surprised if we have our doubts... ;)